I was once given the nickname “Sunshine and Sprinkles.” Everyone knew me for my eternal optimism, my ability to look on the bright side, to see a silver lining in every situation.
The power of positivity was always turned on.
While I love this characteristic about myself, there came a point when I realized it came with a shadow side. And that shadow side denied me of my shadow self.…
I listened to a voicemail one day from an acquaintance. “Hey Kara. Give me a call back. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
I froze. Immediately, my mind spun into a cyclone of possibilities of what I could have done wrong. I braced myself for getting in trouble, for getting lectured, for knowing that I’d likely freeze, unable to defend myself. My heart pounded, my skin reddened, my chest was tight as it held these anxious feelings.…
Things had always been pretty black and white for me. You either do or you don’t. It either is or it isn’t. It’s yes or no. Hot or cold. Right or wrong.
I was forever throwing the proverbial “baby out with the bath water”, because I thought “well if it is not entirely one way then not even a part of it can be true.” The whole — a sum of its parts.…
It’s common sense to attend to our physical and emotional health. But what about conversational health–is this also relevant?
Think back to the last time you experienced conflict. Did you have a desire to work things out with the other person, but they preferred to sweep the issue under the rug? Maybe it was the other way around? How did this conflict impact your mood, stress levels and ability to be productive? If you are anything like me, your mood went south, your stress went through the roof and your productivity tanked.
Harvard medical doctor Matthew Budd claims our habitual ways of using language contribute to many of our conflicts. In You Are What You Say, Dr. Budd points out five common conversational breakdowns that “not only create ineffectiveness and friction between people, but also produce negative mood states” and leave patients “exhausted, burned out and depressed.” Dr. Budd labels these conversational breakdowns linguistic viruses. Five of the most common are:
How many of these viruses live in your conversations? And, how can you avoid these viruses …
