Something really strange has been happening in our home lately.
First of all, our house has been clean and seems to always be picked up. This, in and of itself, feels quite monumental. And quite foreign considering we have two kids ages 5 & 8.
Getting the kids off to school has been a breeze. We never feel rushed and even arrive early. Alarming, right?…
As long as I can remember I have been seeking.
I remember when I was 6 years old having two distinct thoughts:
Is this it?
Is this what life is all about?
Most of the grownups in my life seemed somewhere between bored and depressed. I remember thinking, “So I just stay in school and learn a bunch of useless calculus (no offense to those of you who love and use advanced math daily), go to college and suffer in a career for the next 30 years?” …
A radical act of self-love doesn’t have to mean spending a fortune on yourself or masking pain with fun distractions. It can just be a willingness to check the intent of your loving action at the door to make sure its purpose is to truly nourish your soul.
There are quite a few actions that I categorize under self-love, such as relaxation, choosing foods that nourish you, respecting yourself and your intuition, etc. But what is considered self-love can sometimes blur the lines with our defense/coping mechanisms. …
“Shit. They are going to see it,” I thought. For two whole days I had kept it together. In fact, I was the only one who had at that point. Emotions had been building up, connections had been formed, healing had begun, and I felt like I actually began to TRUST these people I barely knew. They were on a fast track to my heart, and, basically, I was screwed. I was screwed because they were going to, and did, see it.
They saw my ugly crying face.
I was taking a continuing education class that proved to be much more. It was a group of eight women whose connection would prove to be powerful and transformative. Through tears, snot, trying to formulate words that were hard to put together through quivering lips, and allowing myself to be seen with my blotchy red face and all, I shared things that I am pretty sure I knew I had deep within me but never fully acknowledged. And it felt GOOD to release that. There was no embarrassment or shame, there was only love and acceptance.
With all of my usual defenses washed away, it was then that I realized …
