The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a luxury as “something that is expensive and not necessary” and “an indulgence in something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease”. The word indulgence is defined as “the act of doing something that you enjoy but that is usually thought of as wrong”.
These definitions carry connotations of guilt, negativity, judgment and stigma. Yet these are two words repeatedly associated with and used to describe massage therapy. How many times have you said or heard someone say these phrases?
“It’s just a luxury.”
“It’s my birthday, so I thought I’d splurge.”
“I got a promotion, so I wanted to treat myself.”
“I need to do A, B, and C. If I get those done, THEN I can…”
I am here to break it to you; receiving a massage is not equal to giving a puppy a treat when he sits.
It is much greater than that. Can it be purely a relaxing experience? Absolutely. Can we book a massage with the intention of rewarding ourselves after achieving a milestone? Of course. However, assigning such words as those listed above set a certain tone and creates a certain stigma devalues the importance of self-care and your self as a receiver. Let’s examine a few points as to why this stigma exists.
- It’s ok to receive.
This is huge. So many of us give, and give and give. We put others’ needs in front of our own. We place doing things for others above deserving things for ourselves. There is so much to be done in a day and as long as we are fed and watered, we think we are doing well. On the contrary, so many of us are running on empty. Why? In our society, why is taking care of our selves selfish? Why do we saturate ourselves in guilt if we aren’t doing enough for everyone else? Why do we NOT feel guilt when we neglect OURSELVES?I participated in a self-love workshop recently, and it was extremely eye opening to see the affect self-worth has on our ability to accept love, recognize value within ourselves, and feel deserving of true goodness. We often seek validation from outside sources when we are lacking in self-love and worthiness. It is extremely valuable and highly recommended to make a list of what you think makes you valuable, decided that you are worthy, and to live with the intention of being true to that.
- There is a lack of conversation.
Sometimes it is the practitioner who falls short. I received a massage a few weeks ago that was amazing. The technique, pressure and flow were great. At the end, she asked me how I was doing. I answered her question, she handed me water and told me to have a good evening as she walked back to her room to clean up. I remember staring at her blankly as she walked away. That’s it?There was no report of findings. There was a complete lack in conversation about what she felt in my body, ways to improve problem areas, education, addressing my questions, or suggesting a treatment plan.Pretend for a moment that I am not a massage therapist, and I am just playing the role of a regular client. How am I to know that my complaint areas have room for improvement? How am I to know when to return, and how often? I left without booking another appointment. Why would I re-book when even my massage therapist isn’t concerned with improving/maintaining my physical well-being? She had the opportunity to assign power to the idea of regular self-care practice and to an improved quality of life that had potential to be highly beneficial to me, and she totally missed it. Instead, the absence of this conversation further reinforces massage as an indulgence.
- Cost.
Self-care is truly an investment in yourself. Personally, I can’t assign a price to feeling good. I mean, we all have to live within our means, but investing in yourself can be a form of preventative care and, in the long run, save you money.
I have had several clients see me once a week for 3-5 weeks, taper to bi-weekly visits, then once every three weeks, and finally down to once a month. Yes, it was a larger investment in the beginning but they almost always have a dramatic decrease in symptoms (sometimes symptoms even go away completely) and a much better quality of life. Some had issues that, if worsened, could have led to time off work, physical therapy or surgery.
Investing a little bit more in the beginning is a fair trade for avoiding more invasive/expensive therapy in the long run. Whether it’s massage or other forms of natural health, it’s most important to find practitioners that have your best interests at heart and are interested in working WITH you on the best treatment plan for you.
Author: Jenny Bork is a licensed massage therapist who specializes in stress management, chronic pain and movement education. She is currently accepting new clients.
Photo by Samantha Sekula